The Insanity of My Alter Ego

Wow, it's been forever since I've posted anything on here. I think it's time I start again, even though the blue was dyed from my hair about 4 months ago. I'm thinking about getting a bright blue streak, it would stand out nicely among the dark brown.

Anyway, things are crazy right now what with my last two weeks living in the city and there being less than a month until I step on that plane that takes me to my study abroad. I'm still working on my Visa application (blurgh! don't ask) and I'm still figuring out how I'm going to get all of my stuff to the UK, but I'm pretty excited at the same time!

It's led to a lot of sleepless nights though, so I'm sure I'll be up at 3 or 4am posting something else on here from now on.

Cheers!

Sugar Blue

It's 3am. I'm still awake.

Well. I took a nap when I got home from work (because apparently I'm an old man), but now I can't sleep. I woke up at like 10 and putzed around, finished reading a book for one of my classes, started reading one that's due next week.

I was waiting up all night for this stupid straight guy that I work with to come over and drink with me so that we could take advantage of each other. This has only happened once before, and I'm pretty sure he wants it to happen again because he keeps awkwardly emailing me to hang out. We were never really friends when we worked together (he's kind of seasonal help) so I'm pretty sure he want's to get drunk and handzy. You know.

I keep thinking about the rest of my life. I have no idea where I'm going to end up or what I'll end up doing. I have the huge fear that I'm going to end up alone because I can't seem to hold a stable relationship now - although that might have more to do with me being a 36 waist right now (which, for those of you who aren't gay and in Chicago, is code for an ELEPHANT). I just keep thinking about how I want to be studying abroad next year and how much I just never want to come back.

But then I catch sight of my blue hair again and I wonder if I really can change, and if that'll change the rest of me. Maybe I don't even know who I am. Perhaps I didn't even before I decided to dye my hair blue. Am I to be defined by my blue hair, as society would like me to be, or am I to define myself beyond it? Or some combination of the two? I think a big part of the reason I'm asking these questions are because my style really hasn't changed that much. I still wear sweaters and cardigans, collared shirts and nice shoes. I just have blue hair now.

This is also the real first time I've gotten to experience living alone, without unpacking or worrying about a dozen other things to do around the apartment. So I've been thinking an awful lot.

Whatever. I got to wash my hair today, *and* it looked awesome.

- BoyBlue

Blue Carolina

I tried to style my hair tonight. I didn't get it cut when I got it dyed, so it's still shaggy, but I still thought I might be able to do something cool if I used enough product or something.

I was wrong.

Hoo-boy. It... did not end well. I mean, I got through the night, but I was at work and it was awkward. I really want to wash my hair - it always operates better when clean. I mean, seriously. My hair looks terrible when it's all greasy. Buuut they told me to wait as long as I could before showering after dying it and apparently that's something you do when your hair is cobalt-colored.

The color *is* awesome.

Work tonight was a mess. We had this douchebag who wrote, directed and starred in this TERRIBLE movie come in and do a q&a after his movie, and we showed it twice. The weird part is, even though the movie has been officially rated "The Worst Movie of All Time," people still came out to see it. Lots of people. Our theater was freaking full, and it's hardly ever full. And they were all so damn excited about it.

I'll never understand stupid people.

Upside! I saw the guy I fucked last week come in with a friend. This is the same guy who hasn't called, who totally bailed on our plans this weekend, and who's generally ignored me ever since we boned. I felt an odd sort of karmic balance that I would see him coming to this terrible movie. Him being there meant I could stop pining after him, as he was CLEARLY not worth my time. I don't hold truck with stupid people.

Also, he was a theater major, and do I really want one of those?
Too bad though, the sex was *really* hot.

I just got home a few minutes ago and found some hope in a message. Perhaps, like Lazarus, I might be pulled from the grave by a dear friend.

And what's on the agenda for the rest of the night?
Well. I might invite a boy over.

- BoyBlue

At work: the blue hair effect here is interesting. It's like everyone knows I'm wearing my mental breakdown on my head, and because of this, they can't look @me

The Blues Are Still Blue

First post, first post. Have to post something interesting, something defining, something to set the tone for this whole blog.

Doubt the tone could be set up in only one post.

Here's where I was on Monday:
- three close friends
- one evil bitch (recent) ex-roommate
- one kinda awesome (recent) friend/ex-roommate
- nerd-sexy look... geek chic, if you will
- blond hair

Here's where I am today:
- 0 close friends
- 3 big fuck ups
- one CRAZY evil bitch (recent) ex-roommate
- one kinda awesome (recent) ex-friend/ex-roommate
- blue hair

Had a semi-close call with a restraining order attempt from evil bitch ex-roommate's father and evil bitch ex-roommate. That was no good. Along with that, a prank I played ended in the worst way a mean prank can.

So, blue hair.

After everything that happened, blue hair seemed like a good idea. And, hot damn, is it blue. It totes should be, what with how much we bleached it first. Also, can I just say, WTF? My head was ON FIRE! Bleach hurts man. Beauty hurts. Srsly.

But now I look like an anime char. It's pretty fucking rad actually. I don't look like anything I've ever done before, not even when I was being all rebellious and dying my hair black/red/brown/blue-black/etc. Never went anything near as crazy as I look now.

I like it.

I guess it all boils down to this: I didn't want to be me anymore. I felt like being someone else for a while.

So, yeah. Blue Adventurous.

- BoyBlue